Dead and Deader: Zombie Culture Crack

Zombie movies are like being in an abusive relationship blinded by love. The shitty aspects of their personality are overshadowed by my love for them and the glimmer of goodness I see within their worthless existence. Bad shit. These are my sentiments toward Dead and Deader. The movie didn't exactly cheat on me with my best friend while I was in the next room, more like it bought some dude a drink with my credit card.

Dead and Deader was not all bad. Yes, the plot was spotty and not very compelling, but it had its bright spots. When a military operation to recover a medical team turns into a zombie buffet, Lt. Bobby Quinn wakes up during autopsy to find himself half zombie. He finds that his fallen team has all been infected and after jacking some undead jaw is convicted of murder.

The film becomes Where's Waldo? in the sense that the brave and ridiculously bubbly survivors must track down the host zombie which happens to be Quinn's commanding officer.The movie consists of some scorpions that turned people into zombies, Dean Cain tooling around and eating raw meat, the laundry man from American History X (I think) cracking a few jokes, and some vixen making pop culture zombie references suggesting that women like that actually exist.

Dead and Deader, I Forgive You Baby

The acting is bad.com and the dialogue is bad in a way in which I've never seen. Instead of lines made from Velveeta, it's simply a bunch of cultural references targeted toward people like myself. Halo, Everquest, Sabbath, Devo, The Clash, and Romero are all mentioned for a nerd friendly experience. There's something about an attractive woman in a bra and panties making an Everquest reference in a zombie movie that give people who would rather watch bad zombie survival movies than socialize a ray of hope. Amen to them.

The zombies looked great and the gore was top notch. The death sequences toed the line between disturbing and slapstick, which I always enjoy. After awhile, the gore and blatantly obvious attempts to appeal to zombie obsessed fans make you forget that the plot sucks and the acting is like amateur night. It's possible that I'm giving this movie too much credit and it's actually a steaming pile, but come on. If there weren't people who found some good within piles of shit, we wouldn't have mushrooms.

Unless you're like me and zombie obsessed, just avoid Dead and Deader; I'm sure there are better ways to occupy your time. However, if you share my enthusiasm, definitely check this one out, it beats the fuck out of behaving like a human being. I love you too zombie movie.

Zombie Movies You Should Watch

More supplemental reading for those interested in the gritty formation of zombie obsession. Through long periods of overexposure to the living dead by ways of the Zombie Survival Guide, zombie games, and the movies listed below, one can get a better idea of what it takes to be a hermit with a zombie obsession.

Night of the Living Dead

The obvious choice for favorite zombie movie. The Romero classic defined the American zombie and became the template for zombie movies to follow. The black and white film stock along with the slow and lumbering monstrosities create an ominous and uneasy feel to the zombie movie. This popularized the terror of a zombie panic situation and shook me in ways that few films have.

Dawn of the Dead

Another zombie movie on all enthusiast's top lists. The mall setting is a classic terrain for a zombie infestation. Being part of the original Romero zombie trilogy, it features the same staggering zombies that became a staple in the zombie community. The 2004 remake of this zombie movie is wonderful as well.

28 Days Later

One of the first zombie movies offering an alternative depiction of the creature. In 28 Days Later, zombies are displayed as infected beings instead of rotting re-animated corpses.Artsy in addition to being filled with gore, 28 Days Later is not the crude slaughter fest that most zombie movies are. It helped to redefine what is considered terrifying traits of zombie behavior and blurred the line as to what we consider a zombie. The sequel wasn't too bad either and featured some of the best cinematic shots ever witnessed in zombie film.

Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetery Man)

An awesome zombie movie with plenty of disturbing images and a large body count. The movie is set apart by the fact that the zombie population is confined to a graveyard. The imminent harm in which the characters wander into give this zombie movie a unique "what the fuck are these people thinking?" charm. The elements of gore and emotionally unsettling images will shake even the most avid zombie fan boy. Dellamorte Dellamore also has some sort of philosophical quandary that gives this zombie movie a deeper meaning that simple tits and guts. However, I have yet to decipher it, the tits and guts were enough for me.

Re-Animator

If you haven't seen Re-Animator immediately check it out. H.P. Lovecraft's book Herbert West: Re-Animator along with the rest of his works. Once you've learned of his bad-assery, check out Re-Animator. This is another one of those zombie movies that entices you to think while offering plenty of boobs and brains to entertain you in the meantime. This zombie movie may completely redefine your stance on zombie ethics. The sequel titled Beyond Re-Animator is worth watching as well.

Shaun of the Dead

Sometimes we need to laugh away the horror that a night filled with flesh eating zombies can bring. Leaning heavily toward the humorous side of the zombie film, Shaun of the Dead is one of the better zombie movies-period. Shaun of the Dead has great blend of slapstick and dry zombie humor with plenty of gore to back it up. I don't know how it happened, but the U.K. makes one hell of a zombie movie.

Zombie Movie Marathon Part 2

Alright, we're looking good, we just saw dozens of people get torn limb from limb by ravenous zombies. Let's keep the zombie movie marathon rolling.

There are only so many zombie movies to stream from Netflix which are mainstream, some of which look absolutely wretched. You can probably bet that I will end up watching them all, but for the sake of not burning out too quickly, I tried to pick zombie movies that got above a 1 star rating on Netflix.

Forward down the zombie movie road. We're not at the bottom of the barrel yet; the zombie movie titled Severed received an average rating of 3.5 stars, an above average rating for zombie movies.

Severed, I've Definitely Seen Worse Zombie Movies

The zombie panic "Severed" takes place in some isolated forest in the middle of nowhere. I assume the location is in Canada. I have no proof of this and could probably give an accurate location if I read the synopsis, but I'm really not in the mood. I'm basing my assessment solely on the fact that I saw somebody drinking a Molson.

By injecting a growth enhancing substance into the fungi at the base of trees within the forest, a logging company causes a panic that consumes lumberjacks as well as a group of environmentalists protesting deforestation. Alright, pretty hokey, but I've definitely heard worse, we're off to a good start.

Tree huggers and loggers alike contribute to the zombie melee and the few survivors (mainly the woodsmen, I guess they're more rough and tumble?) must make it out of the forsaken forest alive. As present in the "Day of the Dead"remake, the zombies are gruesome and definitely not the worst group of undead that I've seen. Their classic Romero stagger and low velocity make them less terrifying than the zombies of the previous zombie panic. The acting is sub par as you may imagine, but the plot has some cohesion which gives the zombie movie a charming appeal.

The small group of initial surivors that "Severed" follows are abducted by a second group of larger and more barbaric lumberjacks who haven't been infected. The aggressive and reckless behavior of the larger group of woodsmen presents the situation of who is the bigger threat-the zombies or humans. This part of the zombie movie also allows for a larger body count. If there's one thing I've learned about zombie movies, it's that more foolish people=more zombie food.

Viewers later find out the chainsaw recoil which caused the initial panic was the result of Rita, the head of the environmentalists spiking one of the infected trees. A weak plot twist in any respectable film, but not too bad for a B zombie movie. The contribution of the logging company creating the infectious agent coupled with the environmentalists being responsible for the zombie panic, creates a plot that is slightly less shallow than most zombie movies.

The weak ending involved Rita making it out of the zombie infested compound, traversing an open road in the pouring rain, and a somber shot of the head of the logging company contemplating the loss of his son in the incident. The result is a feeble attempt at provoking thought and speculation of the fate of Rita.

Regardless, Severed is a decent zombie movie and a great conclusion to the first installment of the first night of zombie movie mania. Simply the beginning of my attempt to witnessing the most disturbing images possible just before drifting off to sleep.

Zombie Movie Marathon Part 1

I've made it a morbidly unhealthy point to watch as many zombie movies as possible before going to sleep. This unhealthy practice will ensure that my dreams involve blood soaked zombie panic, guaranteeing that I will consistently wake up in a cold sweat.

Netflix makes this seemingly difficult task a breeze and allows me to subject unsuspecting (yet sometimes excited) roommates to the routine as well. There's nothing like a good (bad) zombie movie to remind people that I am simply not wired right. Laughing hysterically while fellow viewers hide their heads in disgust make me wonder how I became so deranged.

The first choice of zombie movies for this night was the remake of "Day of the Dead".

Day of the Dead(2008) Classic Zombie Panic

"Day of the Dead" was first on the chopping block. Only after having started the movie did I notice that Nick Cannon was in the cast. My finger remained poised on the stop button, yet I let the zombie movie play when I saw Ving Rhames in the credits.

The movie proved to rank among one of the better classic Romero zombie movie remakes. As is consistent with the remake of "Dawn of the Dead", the updated and more visually appealing zombie panic was far from a butchery of the original film. The zombies were gruesomely convincing and weren't the least bit cheese, while the death sequences were graphic and much to my satisfaction.

This particular zombie panic was a simple contraction of a mutated biological virus which had gone awry. The premise was not very original, but then again, how many different ways do zombies arise, and who really cares? Again, as is the case in the Dawn of the Dead remake, the zombies of "Day of the Dead" have received a speed boost which add to the horror. The zombie movie adopted the aspect of such movies as Fido in which each zombie retains a fraction of its human tendencies. The vegetarian zombie was a nice touch.

Obviously Ving Rhames was as hard ass as ever, while Nick Cannon filled his role nicely as a complete ass hat of an army soldier. To my surprise I didn't mind him playing one of the main roles despite his obnoxious dialogue and was the slightest bit sad after seeing him mauled by a swarm of zombies.

The ending was pretty atypical in a few people escape and a lone zombie attacks the camera man, nothing special. However, as far as zombie movies go, "Day of the Dead" has it all: a large body count of humans being disemboweled by zombies, plenty of zombie heads being blown off, horrible dialogue, and supplemental plot.

Day of the Dead receives a crisp endorsement from myself and is a zombie movie that even individuals with good taste in movies will be able to watch without complaining (too much).